To say that the past decade has been intense is perhaps an oversimplification, but it so perfectly sums up life with Adam. Anybody who spends any time with him knows that Adam is a child of extremes and he feels everything deeply. Things are never okay — they’re either incredible in a way you never dreamed or devastating on an unimaginable scale.
Sometimes things are both.
Like Adam Day. On one hand, it’s a day that’s all about him and what he means to our family. On the other, the loss of his first family is profound. The day tends to elicit strong feelings of both joy and sadness (sometimes in equal parts, sometimes the scales tip wildly in a single direction). We embrace both sentiments equally here.
Like many things adoption-related, Adam Day is difficult to navigate, but oh so worthwhile to explore. It really is all about contrasts and taking Adam’s lead as he finds his place — both in terms of his birth culture and how he fits in with his family here. This year, Adam wanted to eat Korean food (we did our big meal of japchae and bulgogi on Monday but will also have mandu and rice tonight), yet was also desperate for me to finish sewing the buttons onto his new sweater yesterday so it would be ready to wear today. In all of these things, I’m happy to oblige.
Ten years ago, Todd and I were so very naive about what it meant to be parents, and adoptive parents at that. Today, we’re a little older and, I’d like to think, a little wiser. Adam pushes us to be better parents because he needs us to be better. Just okay isn’t going to suffice when you’re dealing with the complexities of adoption.
For now, Adam tells me I’m the best mother on this side of the planet (his birth mother takes top honours on the other side of the world) and I do my best to live up to that mantle, grateful for the role that I am blessed to play in his life.
Happy Adam Day, indeed!
